A miscarriage very early in pregnancy will mean different things to different women. This information aims to answer some of the common questions that women ask.
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Some of this information will only be relevant to families in Victoria, Australia, with particular relevance to women who use the services at the Royal Women’s Hospital in Melbourne.
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You may find some of this information helpful and some not so helpful. If you still have unanswered questions, and you live in the state of Victoria, you can contact our Women’s Health Information Centre (details below).
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I’m not sure how to feel?
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There is no 'right' way to feel following a miscarriage. Your feelings can range from ambivalence to terrible grief; you might even swing from one emotion to another. It can also be confusing if you were not particularly happy about being pregnant but now that it’s finished you feel a great sense of loss. It is important to be prepared for a whole range of emotions, even those that don't necessarily make sense.
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A feeling of loss can culminate in sadness, grief, guilt and anger. You may also experience a change in your appetite, sleep disturbance, difficulty concentrating and overall fatigue. It is important to allow yourself to experience this, to make the most of those who will listen and support you and to take the time you need to move through it. Some women and their partners may continue to experience feelings of loss long after the miscarriage has occured. It is common to feel upset around the date of the expected birth, or the anniversary of the miscarriage. If at any time you feel as though you are out of control or that you are not coping it is important to speak to someone. Your local doctor (GP) or the Women's Health Information Centre (details below) can refer you to a counsellor.
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Is is possible not to experience a sense of loss at all. This might be because you didn’t know you were pregnant; you weren’t prepared for pregnancy or because you have a particular view about early pregnancy. It is ok to want to move on and not to dwell on the experience. If at any time you do feel moments of sadness, it’s also ok to talk about it and to let people know.
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Don’t be concerned if you and your partner are responding differently - no two people will react in the same way to a miscarriage and it is important to respect that. If your partner is not able to provide you with the support you need right now, or vice versa, try and use other supports around you if you need them; family, friends, community organisations, can all be very useful to you at this time.
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What happens to the embryo after a miscarriage?
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After an early miscarriage, it may not be possible to find recognisable tissue from your pregnancy. If there is tissue your carers can help you to retain it for burial or cremation, if that is what you want.
If you want to keep pregnancy tissue, for burial or cremation, you must speak to your carers and let them know what your wishes are.
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A pregnancy loss in the first 20 weeks may not need to be officially registered as a birth or a death with the Victorian Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages. You are also not legally required to have a funeral, burial or cremation, although you may choose to.
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Your choices
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If you are using a service other than the Women’s, you should ask about what options you have for burial or cremation.
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At the Women’s, if you choose to have a funeral, burial or cremation there are a number of options available to you. They are:
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- the hospital collects the pregnancy tissue, and arranges for it to be respectfully cremated. The ashes are scattered on a garden at a cemetery. This is a free service
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- you may like to take the pregnancy tissue home with you to bury, and you may have your own funeral
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- you may choose to employ a private funeral director and have a private funeral, burial or cremation.
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The Women’s also has a Sacred Space, a room where you may choose to spend some quiet time. The Pastoral Care and Spirituality Service staff can help you to access the room. If you have given your baby a name, the staff can also help you to add your baby’s name to the memorial book which is kept in the Sacred Space. You are also welcome to attend the memorial service which is held at the hospital each year and brings staff and families together to acknowledge the significance of pregnancy loss and babies who die.
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Am I likely to miscarry again?
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One of the most common concerns following a miscarriage is the chance that it might happen again. Women who have had a miscarriage have a slightly increased risk of future miscarriage but it certainly does not mean that you can’t have a successful pregnancy in the future. We usually suggest that you wait until after your next period (four to six weeks), before trying again.
It is possible to become pregnant straight away, so if you do plan to wait, you need to use some form of contraception.
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After experiencing a miscarriage, you may have mixed feelings about becoming pregnant again. Some couples decide that they want to try for a pregnancy straight away, while others need time to adjust to their loss. There is no ‘right’ thing to do. If you feel anxious about a possible loss in the future, you may find it helpful to talk to someone about this. Your doctor, support group, and counsellors can provide information and assistance.
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If you do try for another pregnancy, you can reduce the chances of having another miscarriage by making some lifestyle changes. For example, avoid smoking, alcohol and caffeine, as these behaviours have all been linked to miscarriage. However, it is worth remembering that in most cases, miscarriages happen because of chance genetic abnormalities, and there is nothing you can do to this from occurring.
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Further Information
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Royal Women's Hospital
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If you wish to contact someone involved in your care at the Royal Women’s Hospital, the following numbers may be helpful:
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Royal Women's Hospital
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Tel: (03) 8345 2000
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Early Pregnancy Assessment Service (EPAS)
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Tel: (03) 8345 3643 8.00am-1.00pm
(After 1.00 the telephone will be diverted to Emergency)
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Pastoral Care and Spirituality Service
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Tel: (03) 8345 3021
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Emergency Department
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Tel: (03) 8345 3636
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Women’s Social Support Service
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Tel: (03) 8345 3050 during office hours
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Women’s Health Information Centre
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A free, confidential, state-wide service for all women needing advice, support and referral.
9.00 – 5.00pm, Monday to Friday
Tel: (03) 8345 3045 or 1800 442 007 (rural callers)
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Other contacts
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The following information is only relevant to women in Victoria, Australia.
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Some people find it helpful to contact the following organisations who offer support and information. Most are managed and run by parents who have had similar experiences to you. These community-based organisations have publications available. They can also provide you with a telephone contact. Some organisations run information seminars for parents on issues such as the causes of pregnancy loss, future pregnancy and coping with grief.
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SANDS (Vic) (Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Newborn Death Support)
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Tel: (03) 9899 0218
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Web: http://www.sands.org.au/
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Centre for Grief and Bereavement – Bereavement Counselling and Support Service
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Tel: 1300 664 786 or (03) 9265 2111
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Web: http://www.grief.org.au/couns.html
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NALAG (National Association of Loss and Grief)
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Tel: (03) 9650 3000
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Web: http://www.nalagvic.org.au/
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Disclaimer
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The Royal Women’s Hospital does not accept any liability to any person for the information or advice (or use of such information or advice) which is provided in this fact sheet or incorporated into it by reference.
We provide this information on the understanding that all persons accessing it take responsibility for assessing its relevance and accuracy.
Women are encouraged to discuss their health needs with a health practitioner.
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Published: Dec 2007
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